The Quiet Wallflower in the Room

If you are like me, I walk into a room brimming with people and I shrivel up and hope that I can blend in with the wallpaper.  It's kinda true what people say about being in a crowded place and feeling all alone.  I've tried to pretend that I am not affected by this struggle, but it happens every time I am in a situation like this.  I've often called myself silly or ridiculous for feeling this way, but I can't seem to shake it off.  I am over 50 years old now, I should have outgrown this problem.  I have recently learned that I am not alone in this struggle.  One third to one half of the population struggle with being an introvert and feel drained from too much stimulation.  They need to recharge their batteries through solitude.  Many famous people are introverts - Abraham Lincoln, Eleanor Roosevelt, J.K. Rowling, Bill Gates, Albert Einstein, Mahatma Gandhi,  Laura Bush, Roy Rogers, and many more.  I, as I am sure many of these famous people have, try my best to will myself to be more outgoing and interact with people, but it still remains a struggle.    People have often misread me and felt that I was standoffish and aloof.  I was too quiet for their comfort level and therefore was unintelligent and uninterested.  I promise you that once you get to know me, I am fun loving, enjoy a good laugh and love to talk about almost any subject, except politics :( and math.

I have often wondered what characters in the Bible were introverted and how did God use them?  I asked my husband what character in the Bible he thought were introverted and he said Moses.  I suppose that having stammering lips and being afraid to speak for God would qualify, but he sure seemed to get the hang of being God's mouthpiece.  Of course, as I thought about it, my first response was Esther, a woman who was not royalty.  Her people were sent a verdict to die because of Haman. Mordecai wanted her to let the king know of this proclamation, but she would of rather been a quiet flower on the wall, just like the other times she met the king.  What a tremendous impact she made to save her people-God's chosen people.  I believe it was her deep rooted love for God that gave her the strength to overcome her shyness and be His spokeswoman!

Psychologist Laurie Helgoe tells us, "What constitutes an introvert is quite simple. We are a vastly diverse group of people who prefer to look at life from the inside out. We gain energy and power through inner reflection, and get more excited by ideas than by external activities. When we converse, we listen well and expect others to do the same. We think first and talk later. Writing appeals to us because we can express ourselves without intrusion, and we often prefer communicating this way." Maybe Esther communicated better through a process of time.  She needed time to reflect and think first and then talk later.  She enticed the king and Haman to dine with her and then, after a second meeting, "BOOM" - Haman did it!  He ordered the call to kill my people.  Just know that God has a role for everyone, even introverts, just be ready and willing to listen and allow yourself to process it inside and then obey His call!